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I very rarely open up like this on the blog. I frequently talk about our family and life and things that make me happy – and try to keep all of the negativity away from this little space of mine on the Internet, but that doesn’t mean that life doesn’t come without it’s ups or downs.
Because it does.
I’ve been a little overwhelmed lately, between keeping up with my work at home, the PTSO, and I was scheduled again for more shifts at my ‘other’ job this month than I desire to have. Anika is starting soccer again as well as track – and although I don’t think I necessarily have any more on my plate than all of the other moms out there, I feel like I’m torn into too many directions – too many jobs.
And then there’s Emma.
My sweet little Emma. My shy girl. The girl who told me she no longer wants to play soccer, but loves T-ball. She has always been my laid back child, unlike Anika and Noah who are fast paced and highly active. She likes to take her time and will literally whine like no other if she is rushed.
Well – I got a written warning for Emma in the mail today, for pinching other students and lying about it. None of my kids have ever had a written warning before.
And then I got a phone call.
They want her to go see a counselor from the local Family and Youth center.
My heart sank.
We went through this with Anika a few years ago – it felt like déjà vu’ yet different, because my two girls have the completely opposite behavior. The reason why we had to take Anika to counseling was because she had a hard time managing her ADHD in class (thankfully she’s has been doing AMAZING the past two years!), but Emma, she won’t open up or talk to people, won’t do her work in class, and the teacher doesn’t know what to do to help her.
And I’m tired.Â
Part of me thinks that her talking to someone else will be good for her, to get her to open up and learn to get over her shyness and hopefully get her excited about school – after all she’s only 7.
But the other part of me is so upset that two out of my three kids have had troubles. Why? I want to argue with myself and begin questioning myself – what am I doing wrong? Why is everything so challenging? Why are my kids the ones who need extra help? I try to keep as much consistency for the kids as possible…we do family meals every night, we have a good bedtime routine….why?
I also remember some of the ridiculous things we had to try and do with Anika when she was in counseling. I know some of it is good, and they had good intentions, but half of the time I wandered what planet her counselor came from.
No my kids don’t come from a broken home, no there’s no big changes and nothing out of the ordinary happening right now.I guess what my point is in this rambling post is that we all go through trials and tribulations. Don’t always assume that just because things look perfect that they are. Everyone goes through chaos and craziness…and maybe I just needed to hear myself say it again.
I hope that we can work through whatever is troubling my little girl and help her gain the confidence that I know she has deep down inside.
God only gives us what we can handle, right?
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~Melissa
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1 comment
I don't know your family at all so I don't feel I have the right to say much. I can share my experiences with you however. My sons were raised in a happy home filled with love and hugs from both myself and my husband. We ate as a family as often as possible having lots of dinner conversations. They spent time with their grandparents who adored them. We attended their sporting events and school events. We were fairly strict but also fun. All in all we had a very positive home environment and in fact their friends were at our house more than they were at their own homes.
This did not, however, stop them from having issues and problems that at times made me question everything I ever did in parenting. You know what? It isn't all us. They are individual humans who will become who they are despite our best efforts and intentions.
I think you have the right attitude. They (and you) will be fine. Don't let the school and counselors make you second guess yourself too much. You know your kids better than anyone else. Trust yourself.