I can’t believe it’s November already! After we set the clocks back last night it really hit me – we are almost finished with 2014. I wish I could pause time for a while and keep things this way. MassMutual asked me a few weeks ago to share a personal story with you and I though that since it is November – a time that we all count our blessings, that I’d share one of my biggest blessings with you: my husband.
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This week it was Anika’s turn to help the older kids feed the sheep at the barn, so Wayne has been taking her over at 6 pm each evening. Wednesday I had an event at Whole Foods so he had to take all three kiddos with him. Of course then on Thursday and Friday they wanted to go again, so Noah got to go the first day and then Emma went with them last night – leaving just Noah and I holding down the fort at home for an hour.
So many times I am reminded of how fragile and precious life is. It’s a gift, blessing, and so often its cut short before we even get a chance to do the things we wanted to do,
or live the life we dreamed.
In the blink of an eye someone can be gone forever.
When we were younger we all wished to grow up, live our lives, not have to be a kid anymore.
And then we grow up and we long to go back to our days of youth.
It goes so fast.
I wish we could go back and tell ourselves as youth to enjoy the moment. Don’t worry about responsibilities; adult problems, just live, because you never know.
And then I wish we could all find a place of happiness where we are in life now. Most of us will never have everything we want, but to learn to be content with what you have and
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There are some moments that I wish I could just slow down or put on pause. Between all of the bickering and hollering from the kids – it can wear me out. But with summertime approaching generally comes better spirits as the days are longer and there is more leisure time for their freedom.
In the summer there seems to be more moments when they are all getting along and playing nicely together. It’s those moments where I have a huge sigh of relief and know that I must be doing something right. These moments are truly a mother’s bliss.
I have to talk about something that has been heavy on my heart for a few days now. My husband’s boss lost his son. I’ve never met my husband’s boss nor his son, but my husband knew both of them. I believe he was 8 years old.
I as a parent cannot even imagine going through the pain of loosing one of my children. Especially not at that age. Not that young. From what I heard he had just died in his sleep. Unexpectedly. I feel for my husband’s boss even more because not only did his only son just die, but he himself is a doctor. As a nurse I can only empathize how much he feels like there must have been something that he could of done – a sign or symptom that he could and should have paid attention to more.
It brings tears to my eyes.
I’ve been hugging my children a little tighter the past few days. It seems as if every time I finally forget about the hurt and pain that death brings to people it pops in again just to remind me that it’s always there. But when it happens to children it brings me the heaviest heart of all, for they had barely begun to live their life.
It makes me wonder how much the little things matter. Like the times I said I had to clean the house instead of making a fort with my children. The times that I should have slowed down more to let them help me make dinner. The mornings that we should spend cuddling in bed reading stories instead of rushing around.
The one thing I can say about death is it makes me appreciate life more.
My family more.
Don’t live your life thinking that what is now will always be. Live your life appreciating the now and experiencing the moment – for you never know when you won’t have that opportunity again.
And you know what? Life is way more fun when you don’t worry about everyone else’s opinions of you – because their opinions are rooted down to their own demons that they battle.
Last weekend though, my self confidence was challenged.
I met a friend at a local tavern to meet her new boyfriend. He had clearly been drinking prior to meeting my friend and I there. We all chatted small talk together and I wasn’t thinking too much as he walked away to get himself another drink.
When he returned he began talking to my friend and I wasn’t really paying attention –
then I realized he was talking about me, to me.
“…And you have funny eyes, a big nose, and an overbite!” He clearly stated staring at me.
I was taken aback by what he said. How could someone I just met – intoxicated or not – point out all of my physical “flaws” after just meeting me? Why would anyone do that? Most of the time I choose to bite my tongue and walk away, but this time I got defensive and responded with an equally appropriate (though not necessary) jab – commenting on his clinical obesity.
He said, ” Hey you know I’m just messing with you.”
and I said, “Well, I guess I am too then.”
I then politely excused myself and drove home. And thought.
This world is full of negativity and cruelty. Why anyone would choose to blurt out all of the insecurities that I’ve worked on overcoming is beyond me.
After a day of licking my wounds I decided to let it go.
I feel bad for anyone who says and does things like that, because they must live an unhappy life.
There will always be mean people in this world but that’s okay.
Words can knock me down but I will not let it ruin my happiness.
Because happy people are beautiful people.